Underneath the various issues and problems that couples face is a basic desire for reassurance and affirming love. It may look like you want your partner to be on time but the real issue is that you want your partner to let you know that they really love you and find you important. If your partner is late, it is possible to read that as a message that your partner doesn’t really care, even if your partner professes another intention. If partners can convey a sense of understanding the other partner’s perspective it can help a negative interaction turn into a positive one. If your partner is accessible, responsive, and empathic it helps to create the secure bond that it necessary for healthy and contented living. Sometimes all it takes is taking a step outside the hot emotions and looking for what might be underneath the larger feelings. When we share our vulnerability and express our deepest longings for love we often can find connection.