Sometimes in the day to day of living with our loved ones we can find their behavior annoying. Maybe the loved one forgot to pick up the dry cleaning or maybe they started to leave their dirty clothes all over the place. Suddenly, my once thoughtful partner becomes seemingly thoughtless. It does not take long to get irritated and frustrated and the next thing you know, interactions can become short, testy and possibly develop into a full blown argument. All of a sudden the peaceful comforts of love become a source of irritation. In truth these types of interactions are pretty typical in long term love relationships. The problem does not lie in having a negative reaction, the problems occur in how you handle the reaction. I can share through anger or in another way….
Handling Difficult interactions
1. Awareness: What is being triggered in me? Is the behavior just annoying or am I feeling unappreciated. Or worse yet, am I experiencing a sense of being uncared for in the relationship? Take a risk a share on a new level.
2. Identify your true emotion: What I might show on the surface is anger but what might be underneath this emotion is a sense of hurt and sadness.
3. Get curious: What is going on with my loved one? Ask about how they are doing. Sometimes walking a few feet in someone else’s shoes can create a different energy around the experience of a behavior I do not like
Relationship interactions can be more than meets the eye. Taking time to explore the different possibilities can lead to more loving connections.